Tar Pit Never

“…you are the definition of Never

Please click the mp3 link to hear me recite this poem to its original music mp3 of poem

Tar Pit Never

for Umahmad

Another day without you.. just more tar pits, where before there was a dinosaur,
just a vacuum where we gulp for air, floundering fish, upon the shore,
and we are awakened by an eternal groan to start another day inside this hole.

The clock ticks with a mute shoved down its throat,
like a symphony gone bad…while the audience goes mad,
glued to the chairs, your dissonance is the final curtain call.

It’s so over.

You are a central park, with its monument that disappeared into the dark.
You are an excavation, as big as a city, filled with muddy tears.
You are a wanderer whose melody can be heard, just before the dawn… but never near.
You are a night bird’s song, that went out at noon…and never did return.
You are the definition of Never, that we can never understand…
how we will never see you again.
The birds…can’t find the trees, so they sing so sadly on the wing,
and then they can’t find any reason to sing.

Karima Hoisan
July 16,2012
Arlington Texas

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10 Responses to Tar Pit Never

  1. Shesa Quandry says:

    Aww, Karima. Again, you capture what your heart feels so well… that we can feel it ourselves. With time, the birds will find their song again. This feeling, as necessary as it is, will be replaced by the countless wonderful memories you have of her. Remember she is with you always now… closer than ever… no matter where you are. Show her the joy she filled your heart with. A long tight hug for you.

    • Thank you Shesa…and big hugs to you too.. Yes you are so right, but grieving is a process and a coat of many colors..This moment was captured in these colors and this feeling..Some things are hard to find the words for…but poetry asks us to try and do just that..Thank you for all your caring support…

    • Straight shooting from my Macbook Pro Menu on Kitely:)..The Sky setting is (Tarnix) Dramatic Fog 2 Clever Natascha passed it over to me:) and the water setting is standard called “placida brite”
      I think we are making a machinma again together of this poem..Nat wants to use her Dino Avie:) and I can’t wait to see how it turns out:)

  2. Always thought provoking, you do more than wear your heart on your sleeve… you open all of our eyes with your mind.

  3. Aww Sis,this will be our next machinima collaboration (Natascha and I) I’m so glad you could feel your eyes opening..to the groans of a tar pit day…big hugs and thank you for letting my poetry move inside you:)

  4. Tube/Ron says:

    I will mirror what Shesa said. “Remember she is with you always now… closer than ever… no matter where you are. Show her the joy she filled your heart with.” Yes, sadly, she feels gone. Long gone. She is simply three steps away and standing sideways-too thin to see with human eyes. But, never actually too far away. Your sense as a wordcrafter does bleed from this experience. You are one who paints feelings with words. So difficult to do. When experiences with her cross your mind…..she comes close enough to touch. Don’t reach…just feel her. She is there. As no longer limited to human existence she can be where ever you can think. She can be many “places” at once. No longer tied down to a ravaged brain or fiercesome life experiences. You who feel her so deeply. You are always her champion. Your gift is both to champion her well and to let us know what your heart sees so clearly. This is your gift to her and to us. We thank you. Be at peace.T

  5. Thank you Tube for your wise words.I know they are born from your own vast experience in not only with the dying, but in your own experience of almost facing your own death, and what mystical knowledge you brought back from that cancelled visa at the checkpoint between life and death. You were given a second chance, and you know things, many of us do not yet know..Of course I will remember her with the best of my memories, but grieving has its value and sometimes it is what we have, to get us past the hard concept of Never…the never seeing a loved one again alive. I tried to find the notes, the words to describe this state..I am a poet and it comes naturally to make that attempt at least..Thank you for your comforting words..I do feel her still close. This that I describe in my poem,was a moment in many moments that is the after process when someone we love dies…

  6. Tube/Ron says:

    Yes. The Never. That is so hard to accept. And so accurate.As you pointed out…I have indeed walked on both sides of the line between this world and the next. A profoundly difficult boundary to explain (and live in for years). It is somewhat like a one way mirror. The human cannot see into it’s vastness except on unusual circumstances. And for a specific reason. The boundary is closely protected so the human side is all we can see. Necessary. And the experiences here prepare for future experiences. All built, one on the other. To give us a complete view of creation. Sure-this is all bullshit. OK. Fine. Ones that have eyes to see will see…..voluntarily. Intrusion into a life is very rare. No-you don’t want to live forever. You want many trials to get it right. So many maladies created to shorten each experience. Likely a good idea when you are looking in from outside. From here it is start terror and cruelty and the separation feels like death. I have know this many tiimes myself. So many I miss seeing. But, we travel together. So-don’t fret. You will indeed see your friends again. Karima will see her old friend again-in another role perhaps. Not mine to say. Trust this. Don’t hurt people here out of fun or sense of “God needs this sacrifice”. This will always return back on you. Love your friends and family. Hold them. Care for them. And let them go when this time on Earth is done. For it is not the last chapter. I know this for a certainty. Peace. T.

  7. So sorry I have not replied earlier to your eloquent and honest second comment on my poem. You Are someone who journeyed along this boundary that separates us from the “never’ the other side we are not permitted to see usually until we cross over. Intuitively I understand and accept why we can’t too. In the end, I know there will be reunions..I have no doubt about that. This certainty came from when I lost my father at 12, he came to me over the rest of my lifetime, several times always with the same message, “I am sorry I can’t stay..I must go, but soon we will have all the time in the world to talk about everything we want to with each other.” I believe that too..Thank you Tube for sharing a little more of your practical wisdom, learned in a very special way.

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